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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Blog Log # 2 (Quote of the Week: Director’s Cut… Unrated)

Hello folks, this is Rob. (I write the quote of the week, if you care.) Due to the standards and regulations board of blogging, I was forced to cut some things out of the last post. After, many hours of head scratching I finally got it. A director’s cut, completely unrated. So what you are about to read is the content I was forced to cut. “Yeah, I used to do my best thinking on the john, too.” And still do.

This scene started with a group of frat guys. (we will call them tigers) As the story goes a tiger, tiger # 1, was telling a story. You know, one of them locker room stories. You know how guys love to brag. Anyway, this tiger goes, “such delicate work is difficult enough in a stable, empty setting.” Which, tiger # 2 replied, “Try doing it while a madwoman is slapping and clawing at you.” “But we’re in the business of accomplishing the impossible under the worst conditions.” Just then a third tiger enters the room and asks if he could watch them practice. After, dodging a hail of mind bullets he hears, “Ask me that again. Go ahead. I dare you.” “This is all fun and games, ja?” thought tiger # 2. As tiger # 3 shuffles away he hears what appears to be a “Meat seizure.” And wonders if “he’s crazy enough to enjoy this!” but now he begins to become intrigued as tiger # 2 yells, “It’s good! It’s good now slow down fortheloveofgod!” So tiger # 3 creeps himself up to the door to take a peek. He knew that he shouldn’t be looking in but he did it anyway. To this day he still says, “It was the most beautiful and perfect thing I had ever seen.” Abruptly, the other two tigers looked at one another. “Elf, did you wet your pants?” said tiger # 1 to tiger # 2, which, replied firmly, “Nein.” Tiger # 1 said, while chuckling, “Well it ain’t me neither“ (obviously, tiger # 1 is an english major) They both began to laugh; when out of the corner of their eyes they spotted tiger # 3 and said, in harmony, “Guess that only leaves you, boy.” Tiger # 3 immediately turned and ran. He ran like a boy that just gave himself one of those, what do the kids call them, golden showers. Tiger # 1 and # 2 just watched until tiger # 1 broke the awkward silence with, “Damn, he’s hot!” Tiger # 1 probably said that because, tiger # 3 sweated profusely by nature and suffers from anxiety problems. Not to mention, he had just pissed himself. It turns out, despite his brothers lack of interest in helping him, good old pee-pants was to become a world-class beer pong player. The scene ends with WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! KEG STANDS! –Rob

*Disclaimer- By no way does the use of “tiger” have anything to do with where anybody chose to pursue their growth in academia.


Darren Does said...

What the hell did i just read?!?!

Rob Anytime- Anywhere said...

it's not a true story but i swear it happened.