“My mamma made me read Clemens. She used to tell me I was a reckless boy and I needed philosophy to prepare me for the real world.” And we all know that mammas know everything… right? Keep in mind “Favored above kings and emperors is the stillborn child.” Yeah, that’s a bit heavy but “It’s better to be popular than to be right.” Just like “Having a secret and knowing a secret are two entirely different things and only one is worth a damn.” Now you may find that, “Of the demonstrably wise, there are but two - - Those who commit suicide and those who keep their reasoning’s faculties atrophied with drink.” You that are still living, remember “Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.” And now “ The new century is upon us who can rightly say? End times gentlemen end times.” “Clemens said that courage is resistance to fear - - not the absence of it.” “People need to be scared Bertha. They need to think the world is ending before they’ll be bothered to save it.” Therefore, “It’s a blessed provision of nature that at times like these… as soon as a man’s mercury has got down to a certain point… there comes a revulsion and he rallies. Hope springs up, and cheerfulness along with it… and then he’s in good shape to do something for himself… if anything can be done.” But if all else fails “The Five Fists of Science can bring about world peace.” And “Because I write lefty I can keep punching like this all… night?” “Hot damn! Let’s see if Edison out- clever that.”
- Rob p.s. “Sad state of affairs when a man can’t be ostracized for simply being broke.”
*Editor’s note: Some of these quotes are direct Clemens’ quotes. Others are the comic book character of Clemens quotes. While others are comic book characters quoting Clemens. And at least one of these quotes is from some dude named Mark Twain… whoever that is?