(A special holiday edition of Side Burneius The Mundane.)
Side Burneius The Mundane
Qoutact III
The winter was coming down hard on the land. The gods must be tired of sweating for they have frozen the water they pour upon us mortals from on high. Warriors have returned from battle for the winter festivities to lay down their blades and pick up their axes. Though the spirits where high there was a tension, much like a tempting doom, circling the air. Could these warriors converge on the brink of a whole new realm? A much rockier land of magical cacophonies and as many slays a slayer could ever dream of. What trials lie ahead for these men amongst men? Will the nymphs tempt our slayers only to find that the slayers are mirens? (that’s the dude version of sirens) That is enough rambling for now. Our heroes’ journey shall unravel to us in time.
(It is feast time and Side Burneius enters the dining hall to find Mollyandria, Metropolis, Dayarian, Scotavius, Christos The Cajun, and Samazon, oh wait he couldn’t make it.)
Hello my love you look absolutely ravishing.
“Thank you” said Dayarian.
Always with the funny aren’t we, Dayarian? I was speaking of Mollyandria. I see Samazon could not be with us. Greeks! (uproar of laughter from all) Let us eat up this food so Dayarian can enlighten us all with his battle stories.
(eating happens and we find Mollyandria, Side Burneius, and Dayarian sitting alone by the fire. Who knows what everyone else as up to. Making a ruckus is what they were up to.)
“These are dark a desperate times” Dayarian.
“Agreed.” I heard you received word from Christos today.
Yes I did. He had many kind words. I hear he is a fine warrior with fantastic hair. I’m sure he would say “Just part of my charm.” But with a lot of asterisks, he wrote like a sailor… nay… a pirate. Enough about him, tell me if the tales I have heard from you.
Which would you like to hear Burneius?
How about this dragon story I have been told? Is it true you back handed Beowulf half way up the Mountain.
Yes sir. But he still beat me to the dragon. Guess that’s why I am still amongst the living. What silly King Beowulf was.
So you saw Beowulf fall with eyes of your own?
It is an image I see every time I close my eyes. Then, I laugh and remember that, though his subjects have twisted the tale, I killed that dragon. With my own bare hands. It was a savage scene that was that beast’s body lying in a pool of its evil blood. In the distance I could hear Beowulf’s dying words. Ha… Beowulf ? Why don’t you ever hear the stories about how I saved him from Grendel.Or how I beat him with Grendel’s arm because he hid under a table in the mead hall. And Grendel’s Mother… That was I too. She blew my I Phone up for months, that’s why she had to die. In the end it does not matter whatever gods we believe in, they will know whom the true hero is. The thing is I care not if I am a hero. I am Dayarian The Tiger. That is all the title I shall ever need.
Dayarian, brother you killed a dragon with your hands alone? No Blade? No Spear? No Light Saber?
Yes, Burneius. It was brutal. I sat by the corpse for many hours cursing Apollo and his whole family. Covered in dragon blood I screamed at them “… Don’t let me kill again.”
Eventually, I got my senses back and stuffed my bag with some gold and went looking for some nymphs. Hades, I would have kept company with the furies, at that point. As long as there were at least three of them, of course.
I don’t believe my ears Dayarian. I had no idea you were a man who have conquered such feats. Speaking of feats. What happened when you found the sirens?
I could not tell those tales with Mollyandria in earshot.
She doesn’t Mind.
“I am gonna punch you in the heart.” Side Burneius.
You know I kid, Mollyandria. So… then maybe another time, Dayarian?
Yes sir. I love to relive those glorious days. And someday I may tell you of my adventures with my Cyclops friend.
Side Burneius The Mundane
Qoutact III
The winter was coming down hard on the land. The gods must be tired of sweating for they have frozen the water they pour upon us mortals from on high. Warriors have returned from battle for the winter festivities to lay down their blades and pick up their axes. Though the spirits where high there was a tension, much like a tempting doom, circling the air. Could these warriors converge on the brink of a whole new realm? A much rockier land of magical cacophonies and as many slays a slayer could ever dream of. What trials lie ahead for these men amongst men? Will the nymphs tempt our slayers only to find that the slayers are mirens? (that’s the dude version of sirens) That is enough rambling for now. Our heroes’ journey shall unravel to us in time.
(It is feast time and Side Burneius enters the dining hall to find Mollyandria, Metropolis, Dayarian, Scotavius, Christos The Cajun, and Samazon, oh wait he couldn’t make it.)
Hello my love you look absolutely ravishing.
“Thank you” said Dayarian.
Always with the funny aren’t we, Dayarian? I was speaking of Mollyandria. I see Samazon could not be with us. Greeks! (uproar of laughter from all) Let us eat up this food so Dayarian can enlighten us all with his battle stories.
(eating happens and we find Mollyandria, Side Burneius, and Dayarian sitting alone by the fire. Who knows what everyone else as up to. Making a ruckus is what they were up to.)
“These are dark a desperate times” Dayarian.
“Agreed.” I heard you received word from Christos today.
Yes I did. He had many kind words. I hear he is a fine warrior with fantastic hair. I’m sure he would say “Just part of my charm.” But with a lot of asterisks, he wrote like a sailor… nay… a pirate. Enough about him, tell me if the tales I have heard from you.
Which would you like to hear Burneius?
How about this dragon story I have been told? Is it true you back handed Beowulf half way up the Mountain.
Yes sir. But he still beat me to the dragon. Guess that’s why I am still amongst the living. What silly King Beowulf was.
So you saw Beowulf fall with eyes of your own?
It is an image I see every time I close my eyes. Then, I laugh and remember that, though his subjects have twisted the tale, I killed that dragon. With my own bare hands. It was a savage scene that was that beast’s body lying in a pool of its evil blood. In the distance I could hear Beowulf’s dying words. Ha… Beowulf ? Why don’t you ever hear the stories about how I saved him from Grendel.Or how I beat him with Grendel’s arm because he hid under a table in the mead hall. And Grendel’s Mother… That was I too. She blew my I Phone up for months, that’s why she had to die. In the end it does not matter whatever gods we believe in, they will know whom the true hero is. The thing is I care not if I am a hero. I am Dayarian The Tiger. That is all the title I shall ever need.
Dayarian, brother you killed a dragon with your hands alone? No Blade? No Spear? No Light Saber?
Yes, Burneius. It was brutal. I sat by the corpse for many hours cursing Apollo and his whole family. Covered in dragon blood I screamed at them “… Don’t let me kill again.”
Eventually, I got my senses back and stuffed my bag with some gold and went looking for some nymphs. Hades, I would have kept company with the furies, at that point. As long as there were at least three of them, of course.
I don’t believe my ears Dayarian. I had no idea you were a man who have conquered such feats. Speaking of feats. What happened when you found the sirens?
I could not tell those tales with Mollyandria in earshot.
She doesn’t Mind.
“I am gonna punch you in the heart.” Side Burneius.
You know I kid, Mollyandria. So… then maybe another time, Dayarian?
Yes sir. I love to relive those glorious days. And someday I may tell you of my adventures with my Cyclops friend.
(A photographer’s depiction of the Fate of Dayarian.)
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